Adam Sutton, the gay cowboy who taught Heath Ledger to ride a horse and inspired his performance in Brokeback Mountain, talks about his mate and how knowing him changed his life

And about his decision to support Olivia Newton-John’s fundraising for a Melbourne cancer centre, and why he thinks the Daylesford ChillOut Festival is important for young gay people in the country. It was Olivia Newton-John who comforted Adam Sutton when he heard the news that his mate, Heath Ledger was dead. Sutton was at her Malibu, LA home to help promote her upcoming charity event the Great Walk to Beijing, raising money for a planned cancer centre in Melbourne. It’s the kind of thing Sutton does a lot of now, partly thanks to Ledger.

Sutton and Ledger had known each other since 2001, when they met and became friends during the making of Ned Kelly. Sutton was horse wrangler on the film, teaching Ledger to ride.

A year later the actor told him, "I've just read this script and it sounds a lot like you". It was Brokeback Mountain.

Sutton spent three weeks on Brokeback helping Ledger craft the character of Ennis Del Mar. But Ledger gave a gift in return. His performance helped Sutton to see his own life, and to understand that he had to change.

“There hasn’t been one person who’s watched that film that knows me, that hasn’t turned round to me and said, ‘It’s like watching you, it’s like talking to you’, especially people that knew me from a while ago, “ said Sutton.

“That was the character. I looked at it, and I thought ‘Adam, you’re looking at yourself, you’re listening to yourself. Now I know what Ennis couldn’t have, he couldn’t actually come to be himself.’”

Speaking from Los Angeles, Sutton paid tribute to the power of Ledger’s portrayal.
“His performance in that film, and my association with him, was what gave me the confidence and inspiration and ability to come to the forefront and tell my story,” he said.

“I saw myself reflected on the screen. And many people saw their story reflected in mine. It’s given many people the feeling of not being alone.”

“For me it was like chains had been lifted. You feel new again. To have confidence in yourself and believe in yourself and be in touch with your emotions and learn about love, learn how to accept love, learn how to give love, and not be afraid of who you are and how you think and feel. You start to lose the negativity, to turn all the negatives into positives that you couldn’t do before. “

With Ledgers support and approval, Sutton decided to tell his story. He co-wrote the story of his coming out as a gay man, Say It Out Loud, with his best mate, Sydney Morning Herald journalist Neil McMahon. And just as Ledgers performance had liberated Sutton, the book in turn inspired others to break their isolation and openly acknowledge their sexuality.

Sutton was overwhelmed by the hundreds of letters from readers.

“There’s this guy of 83, he’s on his death bed, he’s told his sister and his dog, and never told anybody else. I rang him and spoke to him, and I heard over the duration of his last few weeks how his voice changed. I could feel him getting happier, you know, until he was telling random strangers things that he’d never told anybody before.”

That’s also why he decided to become the figurehead of ChillOut this year, declining any fee or expenses.

Because when he remembers his own struggle he knows how important it is that people in rural and regional areas – especially young people - shouldn’t feel they are alone.

“You know what it’s like when you’re walking around in your own head asking yourself the same questions trying to come up with the answers you can’t come up with?” he asks.

“But the more you get people from different walks of life together, sharing their stories through interaction, the more you feel like you can talk to someone. At festivals like ChillOut, where you know people are gay, but it’s also a very mixed crowd, and there’s no hostility in them, you can feel comfortable. I think it’s a brilliant way for people to know that they’re not alone, and can be themselves.”

A recent British survey found that, as gays and lesbians have become more visible, prejudice has diminished, a phenomenon Sutton understands well.

“I went away on a big trip just recently with a bunch of mates that I’d just met for the first time, and they didn’t find out [I was gay] till five days later,” he said.

“And they were like, nobody believed it, they were a bunch of really homophobic guys, but by the end of it, they had changed their whole outlook and the whole way they thought.”

“It’s great to know that you can help gay people gain more confidence in themselves, and also change the negative views that the other side sometimes has. All it comes down to is not understanding, on their part. A lot of them have that view of us, until they actually know somebody.”

“And I do think, you know, sometimes the gay community can wave their flag a little bit too high . . . . they can get too much in the face of those who don’t want that flown in their face. There are two sides to that coin as well. You have to respect everybody’s wishes.”

Adam Sutton will be guest of honour at ChillOut 2008, March 7-10, before joining Olivia Newton-John on the Great Walk to Beijing www.greatwalktobeijing.com.

The second edition of Adams book, Say It Out Loud is released February 1. Adam and co-author Neil McMahon will donate their author royalties for the next six months to the Olivia Newton-John Cancer Centre Appeal in Heath Ledger's name (www.oliviaappeal.com ).

by DOUG POLLARD